Hubby vs Kiddos

What if you loved your husband as much as you love your kids? What if your relationship with your husband more closely resembled the relationship you have with your children?

For anyone that knows me, these questions may seem a bit odd, perhaps even startling. I've always put my relationship with my husband second only to God. And I've encouraged many wives to do the same. It's often said, "The best thing you can do for your children is love your husband."

If this is true (and it is), why am I so quick to get angry at my husband? To blame him for how I'm feeling? To threaten to leave or even actually leave?

In our devotional last night, Philip and I read this -

A parent may get little emotionally out of caring for an infant. But there has always been an enormous social stigma attached to any parent who gives up their children because rearing them is too hard and unrewarding. For most people, the very idea of that is unthinkable. 

-Timothy Keller in The Meaning of Marriage

Your baby didn't think about your needs last night and let you sleep. You constantly have to remind your six year old to clear their plate off the table and pick up their toys. Your teenager is taking you, your car and your money for granted. Your adult child doesn't talk to you or spend as much time with you as they used to. These are situations that parents work through. They would never think of deserting their children if they acted like this, even for years!

However, our society doesn't hesitate to encourage wives to leave their husbands.

In fact, I googled why wives leave their husbands. Here are the most common reasons I found.

I just don't love him anymore.              I'm the only one that does any work in this relationship. 

He just takes me for granted. 

He never listens to me.                                                            His apologies are hollow and mean nothing.

I just don't connect with him emotionally like I used to.

I feel like I've outgrown him.  I don't deserve to live with disappointment day in and day out.

What if we said those things about our children? Reread the list with your children in mind. How does it sound?

Those of us that have the pleasure of being wives and mothers would never dream of saying those things about our sons and daughters. Why would I even choose to think or utter those words about my husband? My husband doesn't just hold my heart, our bodies are one in the same.

If a husband and wife are one flesh, [how can they divorce? Divorce would be a bloody amputation, would it not?] “What God has brought together, let no man separate.” 

-Matthew 19:6 (the Voice)